It is always interesting meeting with couples to discuss their financial situation. Often, it feels as if the conversation they are having in front of me is the first one they have had together about money in a long time. This is unfortunate because money conversations are not just mathematical in nature; they are emotional as well.
Money carries with it values, traditions, habits, fears, dreams, and sometimes a bit of baggage. For that reason, money talks should be a regular part of any couple’s routine.
Yet too often, spouses make major decisions such as buying a home, changing jobs, taking on debt, supporting adult children, starting a business, or making large charitable gifts without ever having a thorough conversation about the financial impact of those decisions or how they align with their shared long-term goals.
There are many reasons for this. One of the most common is the frantic pace of the lives we lead, which makes it difficult to set aside time for in-depth conversations. As a result, these matters get ignored or set aside.
In other cases, when partners know they have significant differences of opinion about a financial course of action, they choose to avoid the topic entirely rather than have the difficult conversation that is needed. The truth is proactive money conversations can strengthen a marriage just as much as they strengthen a balance sheet.
When couples talk openly and honestly about money before making major decisions, they reduce stress, avoid misunderstandings, and create a shared vision instead of two competing versions of their future together. However, when spouses do not talk about these matters, false assumptions or bad decisions often snowball into resentment, budget strain, and emotional distance.
In my work, I have seen partners who regretted major financial moves only after the fact because one or both failed to consider the full ramifications of their decisions or did not openly share their concerns beforehand.
That is why money talks are not only reserved for annual meetings with your advisor. They are one of the most important relationship habits a couple can develop, especially before making big decisions.
I’ll be honest, this is something my wife and I are not great at. Perhaps because of my background in finance, I may make her feel like her opinions or views are not as valid as mine, or she may simply be tempted to let me handle the finances since it’s what I do for a living. Whatever the reason, this is an area we don’t work as effectively together as we should. I suspect many of you find yourselves in a similar place in your own marriages.
Money conversations are not about perfection or expertise; they are about partnership. When only one spouse is responsible for financial decisions, bitterness or resentment can quietly take root. True financial teamwork doesn’t require equal knowledge or identical skillsets; it requires equal respect and a shared seat at the table. Couples who commit to having these conversations together are not just strengthening their finances, but the foundation of their relationship as well.
(Past performance is no guarantee of future results. The advice is general in nature and not intended for specific situations)